


i thought we were lovers

by katsuk1



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9474554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsuk1/pseuds/katsuk1
Summary: you're the best type of heartache.





	1. preface;

If you told Mark he had the ability to see ghosts and how attractive they were, he’d never believe you in a million years.

And yet here he is, standing face to face with one of them, looking just as dumbfounded as he is. 

“You can see me?” asks the translucent boy, mouth just slightly agape in shock. His lips were a faded light pink and his cheeks were flushed. Mark’s always pictured ghosts as figures with white blankets over them with no distinct facial features or even the ability to blush. 

“Why are you in my house?” asks Mark timidly, fists clenching into the bottom of his shirt. He hadn’t expected to see anyone in his home when he arrived back from school. Nobody lived here except him, after all. 

He sees the ghost boy’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows a lump that’s settled in his throat and Mark can’t help but be more and more amazed by the second. Mark fills the gap in the conversation when the ghost boy doesn’t respond. 

“Is this real? Are _you_ real?” 

“I don’t know.” the ghost boy tries to speak in a confident tone but Mark doesn’t believe it for a second. “ _Am_ I real?” He seems to already know the answer, but he chooses to test him instead. Mark’s heart pounds in his ears. 

Mark takes a step forward but hesitates when he sees the ghost boy take a step back. Mark asks himself if the boy in front of him is really what he believes he is. He can see through him but there’s still an outline of what used to be a living, breathing person. The ghost boy’s chest is rising and falling with nervous breaths, just like Mark’s own. 

“Can I hold your hand?” 

The ghost boy’s face is unreadable, a look of confusion flashing in his eyes. Mark doesn’t seem to want to wait for an answer and instead walks down the hallway quickly, reaching out to grab the ghost boy’s hand.

Mark didn’t know what he was hoping for. Maybe he would’ve been able to grab the hand and hold it because after all, ghosts don’t exist, right?

That’s what Mark thought too until he realized his hand went right through the other boy’s. The two of them stare at each other for a moment too long and Mark tries to put a hand on the ghost boy’s shoulder. It passes through him, leaving Mark to slice the air. 

“I can’t believe it.” Mark takes a step back and for a moment he sees a slight grin dancing on the ghost boy’s face. “You’re actually a ghost.”

“You and a million other people.” there’s a teasing glint in his tone and it seems to lift the mood a bit, a small smile plastering itself on Mark’s face. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Kid?”

“I’ve been around for decades, so I can almost one hundred percent confirm that I’m probably older than you.” 

Mark’s face splits into a big grin and he shoves his hands into his school uniform jacket. “Mark.”

The ghost boy tilts his head and the corner of his lips lift in amusement. There’s a small twinkle in his eyes that Mark can’t quite shake off and he’s left staring into them like a lovestruck teenager. “I’d shake your hand but I don’t think that’s quite possible.

I’m Donghyuck.”


	2. i know we just met but i think i love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there'll be a bunch of chapters but they're gonna be short
> 
> i think i'll be able to update a ton like that??

Mark doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to seeing someone in his house that’s not him. He won’t ever get used to Donghyuck’s _good mornings_ and _good nights_ or the _how was schools_ and the _welcome homes_. He won’t get used to Donghyuck’s presence lingering in the atmosphere with him but he’ll always enjoy it, feeling an almost comforting aura radiating off of Donghyuck. 

The jokes and sharp comebacks are something Mark’s learned to deal with and more often than not, he’s got a few things up his sleeve too. The big grins that appear on Donghyuck’s face that reaches his eyes and makes them crinkle into crescents is something that will always take Mark’s breath away in a quick manner. Why though, he’ll never find out. 

 

People say ghosts are supposed to haunt you and leave eerie feelings down your spine; they say they’re supposed to leave bitter feelings in your mouth and be wretched and awful but when Mark looks at Donghyuck, all he sees is a teenage boy that just wants some company. To Mark, Donghyuck was the feeling you had right before you solved a mystery or accomplished something big. He was the sleepy smiles that came in the morning and the excited spark in someone’s eyes when they snuck out at night. 

Donghyuck (to Mark at least) was the epitome of comfort. And Mark’s grateful for that.

 

“Don’t you have any family around here?” Donghyuck watches intently as Mark cooks up some instant ramen. He’s standing so close to Mark, his body almost passes through Mark’s shoulder. 

“No,” answers Mark mindlessly, leaning front to turn the stove off. “They all live back in Canada.” 

Mark walks to the other side of the kitchen to grab a bowl, only to have Donghyuck tailing him. He doesn’t seem to mind and if he does, he doesn’t voice it. “Don’t you ever miss them?” Donghyuck asks innocently, only realizing what he said after he spews it out. 

Mark pauses, a bowl and chopsticks in his hands. Donghyuck can see his eyebrows furrow and his lips form a small frown. “Don’t _you_ ever miss your family?”

Donghyuck purses his lips and his eyes cast downwards, staring at the tiled floor. Mark’s tone wasn’t mean and he knows he wasn’t trying to be mean but Donghyuck can’t help but feel a pang in his heart. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen them since I died.”

Mark’s shoulders fall from a defensive state to a timid one. “I’m… Hyuck, I’m really sorry.”

Donghyuck musters up a weak grin but it doesn’t fool anybody but himself. “Don’t worry about it.” 

The two of them lock eyes and for a second, Mark swears he sees tears. 

“Can…” Mark clears his throat and sets down the bowl and chopsticks. “Can ghosts cry?” 

Donghyuck sniffles and looks away. “Of course.” He mutters, voice cracking in the process. 

“Can humans wipe away their tears?” Mark asks softly, walking towards his now best friend. 

There’s a small laugh that escapes Donghyuck’s mouth and then comes his hand to furiously rub at his eyes. When they make eye contact again, Donghyuck’s eyes are red and watery. “I wish.”

Mark looks down at Donghyuck’s hand- the same hand that had passed through his own and suddenly Mark really wishes so too.


	3. wish for me, would you?

“Isn’t that dangerous?” questions Mark as he makes his way to his balcony. There isn’t much room on it but it’s just enough for the two of them to squeeze in. 

Donghyuck looks back at Mark and smiles warmly, contrasting the crisp autumn air. “It’s not like I’ll die if I fall off.” His legs swing carelessly on the other side of the balcony and he talks as if a balcony ledge is the most comfortable spot in the world. Mark decides not to join him and instead leans against the ledge, taking the spot beside Donghyuck. “You didn’t get me hot chocolate?”

“I didn’t think ghosts could drink things,” Mark confesses, a toothy grin painting his lips. He turns his attention back to the sky and its stars, a small sigh leaving his mouth. The sky is a subtle shade of dark blue, almost black but that only made the stars shine brighter. The street under them was deserted for the most part, but a few cars would come and go quietly. 

“You also didn’t think ghosts existed. And yet here we are.” There’s a slight breathlessness in Donghyuck’s voice and it fills Mark’s heart with a warm feeling. He looks over at his best friend but Donghyuck’s too busy marvelling at the stars. 

Mark licks his lips and takes a deep breath, the cold air hitting the back of his throat. “Hey, Hyuck?” 

“Yeah, Mark?” 

Mark clears his throat and keeps his eyes fixated on the night sky. “If you could wish for anything in the world, what would it be?”

There’s a small pause before Donghyuck comes up with an answer. “Well, there’s a lot of things I’d wish for.”

“Like what?” Mark presses on, an innocent tone underlying his words. He sounded like a child with a million questions jumbled in his mind, asking a parent for all the answers in the world. 

“Something.” Donghyuck’s grinning and Mark knows that, even if he isn’t looking at him. “Some _one_.” 

Mark turns his head to face the other boy and finds himself locking eyes with his best friend for the nth time that week. There’s the feeling again; the feeling of air being sucked out of his lungs and being replaced by Donghyuck. Mark’s grip on his mug tightens and he swallows thickly. He feels his pulse quickening and somehow, he knows Donghyuck does too.

“I…” Mark can’t help but notice how close their faces were and how if Mark leaned just a little bit closer, they could kiss. Except, they couldn’t. A bittersweet smile forms on Mark’s face as his eyes drift downwards. He bites his tongue when he feels tears stinging his eyes. 

“I’d wish for someone too.”


	4. if you move on, will i be able to too?

“Do all ghosts linger?” 

Donghyuck looks away from the TV and stares at the boy beside him. Mark had gotten home from school less than five minutes ago and he was already hitting Donghyuck mentally from all sides.

“What do you mean?” asks Donghyuck slowly, unsure how to approach the conversation.

“Is there more of you here? Like, in the world? Do none of you ever move on? Are all of you just left here to roam endlessly?”

A small smile dances on Donghyuck’s face and he’s not quite sure how to react. He shifts his weight on the couch the two of them are sat on and he ponders on this for a while. “Of course there’s more ghosts in the world. It’s not like I’m the only one. Everybody becomes a ghost at some point in their life.” Donghyuck turns his body to face his best friend and his heart lifts when he sees Mark do the same. “Not all of us linger. Some of us go to heaven, hell, or whatever you choose to believe in.”

“Why didn’t you move on?” 

Donghyuck lets out a shaky exhale that he passes off as laughter. It’s uncertain and wobbly but it calms his nerves. “A lot of ghosts don’t move on. Sometimes, they never move on. There’s always different reasons.” 

“Have you found out yours?” Mark’s voice lowers, like he’s suddenly aware of everything that could be overhearing; the birds outside, the squirrel that had ran down the street earlier- even the walls they’re surrounded by, caving in on them, listening, wanting. Donghyuck mimics his tone.

“If I did, I wouldn’t be here, would I?” 

Mark falls silent, choosing his words carefully. It shoots an anxious arrow at Donghyuck’s heart and fills his veins with worry. “Do you wanna move on?” 

Donghyuck’s frown turns into a lazy grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. It looks quite sad to Mark. “Maybe sometime later. Not right now at least. Not in your lifetime.” 

“What’s making you stay?” 

“The same reason that made me stay with you.”

“And what’s that reason?”

Donghyuck’s grin grows wider and he has a sudden urge to ruffle his best friend’s hair. He’s too innocent for someone like Donghyuck- someone who’s been through too much and felt too much. “I think you know, Mark.” Donghyuck turns his attention back to the TV, returning to his original position and stops the conversation there but apparently, Mark isn’t quite finished just yet.

“So you aren’t stuck here?”

“Of course I’m not.”

“So you can leave anytime you want?”

“... Of course.”

“Will you?”

Donghyuck turns his head in surprise and sees that Mark hasn’t moved from his position from moments ago. Donghyuck couldn’t even answer the question himself. He’s always lingered in people’s lives but he’s never been apart of one but he thinks he’s too deep into Mark’s to pull away anytime soon. Donghyuck opens his mouth slowly and quickly arranges a few words to say but he can’t seem to spit them out. He hopes Mark takes the silence in a right way and when he smiles softly, digging his head deeper into the cushion, Donghyuck knows that everything’s okay.


	5. linger, hover, pull the trigger (impale me with your cupid's arrow)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you haven't noticed there's not really a timeline for this so seasons might get fucked up im sorry T_T

"Does time really heal all wounds?"

"What is this, bombard the ghost with questions week?"

"Does it?"

Donghyuck lets out an audible sigh and stares up at the ceiling. He pushes himself up from the ground and whispers for Mark to make room for him on his bed. He lays down swiftly and feels Mark's eyes burn through his head. He keeps his eyes on the ceiling.

"Time heals wounds, alright. It heals a lot of wounds. Like heartbreak and stress and family issues." Donghyuck sighs again but Mark can sense something's up this time. "But time doesn't heal every wound. Sometimes you have to patch them up yourself. And re-patch them, over and over again but it works, doesn't it?" Donghyuck looks over at Mark and grins. Mark manages a meek smile in return and pulls his blankets up until they're covering his entire body, leaving his head to stick out.

"Don't you get tired of re-patching them?"

Donghyuck frowns. He's never thought about that. "Of course." he finally replies after a long moment. "Wouldn't you get tired of doing the same thing everyday?"

The two of them are left in silence and Donghyuck takes Mark's answer as a _yes_. Donghyuck finds himself listening carefully to hear Mark's breathing become heavier and slower but the moment never comes.

"Have you had to re-patch any old wounds recently, Hyuck?"

Donghyuck exhales a little laugh and returns his gaze back to the ceiling. The only source of light is located on Mark's nightstand, a lamp on the lowest brightness setting. It calms their nerves and makes Donghyuck feel hazy.

"Surprisingly, no."

"And why is that so? Has Hyuck found himself a ghost girlfriend I'm not aware of?"

"More like a human boy crush," mutters Donghyuck under his breath. It's not loud enough for anyone else to hear and he's glad.

"What?"

"I said not in a million years." bluffs Donghyuck, mentally shaking the nerves off of himself. "it's just that..." his voice trails off and he turns his body to face Mark.

"There's been a little something that's occupied my mind."

 

The familiar noise of the coffee machine whirrs again and seemingly tries to stir Mark out of his thoughts. He had some time alone, seeing as Donghyuck hasn’t come back from his nightly adventures yet. It’s at times like these when he realizes how much he misses Donghyuck’s mellow laughs right before the sun rised. Sometimes he wonders if one day Donghyuck’ll leave for his midnight adventures and never come back. The thoughts leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

However, that’s not what he has on his mind. To him, this might be a lot worse. He tries swallowing down his feelings but something about the gentle breeze flowing past his open window and light swaying from the trees outside punctures his heart delicately, causing all of his feelings to flow out seamlessly.

He replays the way his heart clenched and unclenched when Donghyuck said he didn’t have a girlfriend but he can’t seem to understand why. It can’t be that Mark’s in love with him- it just simply can’t. A human in love with a ghost? It’s something that’s too cliche to even exist in movie plots. Mark tells himself this as he mindlessly picks up his cup of hot coffee, only to drop it on the kitchen counter, shards of glass and scorching liquid spilling itself on the marble surface and tiled floor. He hisses out a string of curse words in English and shakes his burning hand in hopes to numb the pain. He runs his hand under cold water and lets it rest under the soothing stream, hanging his head in exhaustion. He had just woken up moments ago yet all he wanted to do now was to go back to sleep.

“Are you okay?” a frantic voice appears at Mark’s side and Mark yelps, jumping away from the sudden cold presence. He ends up banging his burn on the edge of the sink and he lets out a whimper, sinking to the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” The voice is unmistakably Donghyuck’s and Mark would feel glad to see him again, except his hand felt like someone had just poured lava onto it. Mark feels another chill run through his body like Donghyuck had just tried to hold him up and when Mark looks up to take a glance at this best friend, he realizes Donghyuck had done what he thought.

“It’s okay,” says Mark, forgetting the pain momentarily. He gathers himself up and tries not to notice Donghyuck’s concerning stare. “Hyuck don’t-” Mark stops himself. _Don’t step in the glass_. Mark chuckles to himself and Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow.

“Don’t what?” asks Donghyuck, voice laced with a certain sweet poison that drips of concern and honey.

“I was just gonna say don’t step on the glass but…” Mark’s words fade until nothing comes out and a smile is put there instead. Donghyuck stutters out a laugh and shakes his head.

“You’re so clueless sometimes.”

“Clearly,” laughs Mark, gesturing to his still-red hand. The pain was subduing but the blood seeping out of the cuts from the glass are still evident. Donghyuck’s concerned demeanor returns and he tries reaching out take Mark’s hand again, only to stop himself.

“Go get some bandaids or something to cover up your cuts. I’ll clean up everything.” Donghyuck uses his hand to shoo Mark away.

“Hyuck, I can clean this up, it’s okay-”

“Go get some bandaids.” Donghyuck shoots the other boy a reassuring smile but Mark feels like something’s off about it. When he hesitantly turns to his room to grab the first aid kit, he glances over his shoulder and looks at Donghyuck’s uneasy expression. He’s about to leave again but then he hears something.

“I shouldn’t have stayed out so long.” it’s a mindless murmur to himself but it’s laced with regret and it sends a stab to Mark’s heart. He hurriedly looks away and scrambles to his bedroom where the first aid kit is located.

 

Mark's eyes dart across his book and he goes to turn a page, only to have an aching pain pierce through his hand. He had patched it up earlier (on his own, of course) with small difficulty and he still couldn’t forget the guilty look on Donghyuck’s face as he did so. _It’s okay_ , Mark had said. _I’m sorry I can’t help_ , Donghyuck had apologized. (Profusely, Mark may add.) He didn’t mean for Donghyuck to get so worried over it. He hurt himself like that all the time; back at home in Canada, he used to fall down the stairs all the time and his family got so used to it, they’d just laugh. It felt weird to have someone who you considered a second family member worry over you. It made him feel like he was a little kid again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

A voice from the bedroom doorframe startles Mark and he flinches, jumping back. His bed creaks at the sudden movement and he hears a bubbly laugh from the same direction as the voice. The laugh sounds like sunshine and it fills Mark’s heart with joy.

“I-I’m fine,” Mark stutters, scrambling to get back to the position he was in before. His book had fell on the ground with a thud and he felt his face burn bright red with embarrassment.

“Are you sure, Mark?” Donghyuck stifles a laugh and in its place is a big smile- a genuine one. Mark tried looking him in the eye but there was a gleam in Donghyuck’s eyes that made Mark’s heart skip a beat so he decides it’s best to look away. He stares at his bandaged hand instead.

“I’m sure, Hyuck.” Mark’s voice is soft, his go-to tone that he’ll never get rid of. His lips rest in a pout, like they always do when he doesn’t speak and he hears Donghyuck’s breath hitch.

“Sorry I came back so late.” Donghyuck speaks quietly, like his breath is coming back but he’s not fast enough to catch it. Mark doesn’t understand what he’s saying until he remembers that the only reason Donghyuck even knew about his hand is because he saw the scene unfold right as he arrived back home.

“It’s not your fault.” Mark consoles him with a wisp of a smile. “Besides, when did you get so caring anyway?” It was a joke to lighten the mood but Donghyuck didn’t quite catch onto the feeling, his expression turning into a mix of concerned and sad.

“I’ve always cared about you.” he says solemnly with a serious tone that Mark’s never heard before. Mark’s fingers tighten on his shirt’s bottom and he can’t recall when he tangled his fingers there. His lips purse together and he feels his breathing become uneven. Nobody’s ever flat out said _I care about you_ to Mark. There are the _I love you_ ’s and _I miss you_ ’s but _I care about you_ ’s are foreign words to Mark and the sound of someone he’s so utterly in love with spouting them out sends a rush of adrenaline through his veins.

“I’ll be in the living room if you need me, okay?” Donghyuck gives him a half-smile and turns to leave.

“Hyuck!” yelps Mark, alarm evident in his voice. Donghyuck turns around and gives him a questioning glance. “I…” Mark starts. “I need you.” he sounds like he’s not sure of himself and he cringes.

“You need me?” Donghyuck asks, just to confirm that he heard what the boy said correctly.

“I need you.” Mark replies confidently. His face is a light shade of pink and Donghyuck beams. He walks over and sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Okay, what do you need?”

“You.”

“Me?” asks Donghyuck, exhaling a laugh.

“Yes.” confirms Mark, the shade of pink on his cheeks becoming more pigmented.

“What do you need me to do?”

Mark doesn’t know how to respond but he knows he just wants him to be there. He doesn’t want to be alone. He doesn’t want to feel lonely. “I…” he begins, unsure. His fingers becoming white from holding on so tight. Donghyuck’s still there, waiting for a response patiently and Mark’s heart tightens. “I need you to stay.” he says at last, all the words coming out in a breath.

Donghyuck’s mind haywires and all he can think about is how precious this human boy was. He’s met numerous living beings as a ghost but none of them made him want to stay with them like Mark did. There was just something about Mark that Donghyuck needed to feel complete. Donghyuck’s eyes curl into crescents as his smile widens.

“Okay,” Donghyuck scoots closer to the human boy.

“I’ll stay.”


	6. if your tea is bitter, i can be your sugar to make it all better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SO LATE IM SO SORRY

Donghyuck’s always awake before Mark. Ghosts don’t sleep, after all.

Whenever Donghyuck watches the sun rise and sees Mark stir in his sleep, he can’t help but think about how Mark was so soft in everything he did. He did small tasks with extra care and treated everyone nicely, even if they didn’t deserve it. Donghyuck’s the type to punch someone as revenge and Mark is the type to forgive them quickly with a big smile.

Donghyuck just couldn’t understand him.

He had a heart of pure gold and a mind of marshmallow fluff; his actions were delicate and precise and the complete opposite of Donghyuck. When Donghyuck thinks he knows Mark inside out, he discovers more and he’s hopelessly in love with Mark’s minute details that don’t matter to anyone else but Donghyuck.

It’s an endless cycle of the same thoughts, Donghyuck concludes as he watches Mark hazily open an eye and grin sleepily at him.

  


Mark has a habit of changing into his pajamas as soon as he comes home from school. The moment he walks into his house, he rips off his school blazer and leaves a trail of clothes on the floor that he always cleans up later on. Even then, Donghyuck couldn’t help but think how much of a gentle hurricane he was doing so.

Mark does the same thing today and comes out of his bedroom with his laptop clutched close to his chest, making sure the expensive object doesn’t fall. He says a _hello_ to Donghyuck in the same chirper voice he uses everyday and smiles widely. Donghyuck laughs to hide his beating heart.

“I’ll be on the balcony if you need me,” Donghyuck hears himself say.

“Okay!” Mark responds happily, tapping away at his laptop’s keyboard. His eyes are fixated on whatever’s on his screen and Donghyuck always has trouble tearing his eyes away.

He finds himself on the balcony whenever Mark’s at school and all the areas he wants to explore have been explored. He climbs on the railings and makes himself at home, gripping onto the bars tightly. He knows he can’t die but the dreaded last moments before death won’t just go away just because you’re dead. The adrenaline in your veins and the panicking feelings of how you haven’t accomplished enough yet still crawl down your spine. Donghyuck cringes at the thought.

He looks down at the children chasing each other, backpacks still on their back, bouncing up and about but still clutching onto their owners tightly. Their laughs fill the street and Donghyuck wonders why they’re so late going home. It makes Donghyuck think of his mom and her smiling face whenever he arrived home. He digs his nails into his palm until they begin to bleed. He lets out a tart laugh when he sees the deep red liquid flow from his wounds and thinks about how cruel his afterlife was. _Was his experience when he was still alive not bad enough_? he considers, sounding hurt even to himself. He can bleed and feel all these emotions but he won’t ever be able to patch up his bleeding cuts with a bandaid or express these emotions without an unmovable obstacle in the way.

His head hang lows and his shoulders fall with a sigh. He decides to push the thoughts to the back of his head and stays in his position for awhile, letting the spring breeze blow his sadness away.

  


That night, Mark’s in the same position he was in hours ago, only he has his glasses on in place of his contacts. Donghyuck can’t remember when he made the switch but it’s a detail he forgets quickly.

“Hyuck?”

Mark’s voice startles Donghyuck, as he hadn’t tried to initiate a conversation in hours, too wrapped up in homework to do so.

“Yeah, Mark?” Donghyuck looks over at the human boy and their eyes lock. It’s an occurrence that’s happens too much and Donghyuck should be used to it but his heart still skips a beat whenever their eyes meet in the middle.

Mark takes a sip of coffee- no, _tea_ before he responds. Donghyuck can’t stop his grin from showing when he realizes the boy had taken his advice. _Don’t drink coffee before you sleep,_ Donghyuck had said. _Tea helps you sleep better._

“What were your last thoughts before you died?  


Donghyuck’s breath stops in his throat and he feels like whatever soul he has in his ghost body leaves him, forcing him to deal with the situation himself. He purses his lips and turns his head away sharply, unsure whether to be angry or sad. “Why are you asking me this?”

“I’m…” Mark’s voice fades out as he picks up on the uncomfortable cue. For a reason Donghyuck will never know, he decides to press on. “My English teacher asked us to write what we think we’d think in our last moments. It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me. I should’ve have asked in the first place.” Mark returns his gaze to his laptop screen, beginning to type again slowly and reluctantly. Donghyuck turns his head back to him slowly, guilt spreading through his chest.

Mark _was_ just being curious. Donghyuck never minded curiosity but thinking about his last moments is something that might be too overwhelming, even for him.

“My last thoughts were…” his words become quiet until they merge with the silence. Mark turns his head in surprise, staring at Donghyuck in surprise.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me, really-”

“They were bitter.”

Mark closes his mouth after being cut off and he swallows down his uneasiness. “What?” he asks croakily.

“My last thoughts were bitter.” explains Donghyuck in a monotone matter that Mark doesn’t like very much. “All I could think about in my last moments were how I hated my parents and my life. I didn’t have time to think about anything else except my teenage angst. Everything happened too quickly for me to even be scared of dying.” He expects Mark to nod and return back to his English assignment but instead, the boy blinks at him, at a loss for words. Donghyuck forces out a laugh and tries to flick Mark’s forehead. “Just go back to writing. It’s okay.”

Mark doesn’t budge.

He stays in his place, blinking, like it’s the only thing he can do at the moment. Then, he looks down at his lap and lets out a silent sigh. Donghyuck only knows this because Mark’s shoulders fall, like they always do when he sighs.

“If I ask you a question...” begins Mark softly, caution clear in his voice. “Will you be mad at me?”

Donghyuck’s mind blanks for a moment. He doesn’t understand what Mark’s trying to do. “Of course not.”

Mark turns his body to face Donghyuck and looks him dead in the eye. Donghyuck can practically hear the sound of Mark’s beating heart at an almost too-fast pace merge with Donghyuck’s own. There’s a flash of hesitance in Mark’s eyes but all Donghyuck can see is the building confidence that Mark had to will himself to have.

“How did you die?”


End file.
